Censored Names in Pokemon X and Y

I’ve been out of the Pokémon loop for a few years. I recently picked up Pokémon X and have been blown away by all the changes since my last adventure, Pokémon Silver. Pokémon X and Y contain all sorts of internet features, like battling foreign trainers or trading with strangers. I had heard that with internet connectivity, Nintendo instituted a policy of censoring certain Pokémon names.

Being the family-friendly company Nintendo strives to be, I had heard that in the previous generation, Pokémon Black and White, common swear words were censored; the player is unable to use them in names for his or her Pokémon. Presumably the fear is that players will put swear words in their Pokémon’s names, then share them online with little kids, who are impressionable and easily corrupted.

While I’m all for free speech, even in games, I didn’t anticipate that I’d have a problem with Nintendo’s censorship policies. After all, I was never one to give my Pokémon names like Nasty Bitch.

But to my surprise, I’ve had several attempted names denied by Pokémon X, names that I did not think contained swear words. I decided to investigate the topic further to see exactly which words are censored and which words are not. For ease of reading, I’ve listed banned words in red and acceptable words in green.

Warning: This post does contain strong language, obviously, but is used in the interest of educating the reader on exactly where Nintendo draws the line when it comes to censorship.

Anatomy

I started with human anatomy. Not surprisingly, most words relating to male and female genitals and private parts are censored. The following words for female anatomy cannot be used: boob, breast, clitoris, cunt, labia, tit, titties, vagina, and vulva. The following words for male anatomy cannot be used: balls, cock, dick, nuts (and derivatives like numbnuts and nutsack), pecker, penis, prick, schlong, scrotum, and testes. And general anatomical words that could apply to either gender cannot be used: ass, butt, gonads, and genitals.

Note that in general, these words just have to appear somewhere in the name. For instance, ass is banned, including its numerous derivatives, like jackass and asshat. I personally ran into a problem with boob, TWICE!, though not intentionally. The first time, I caught the panda Pokémon “pancham.” Pokémon are often named after some feature related to that Pokémon; pancham’s name is a portmanteau of “panda” and “champion.” I wanted to give my pancham a unique name, so I decided to reference a panda-related noun: bamboo. But instead of naming him Bamboo, I decided to switch it up: BooBam.

Not the most original name, I know, but I tried it. And Pokémon told me: “You cannot use that word.” What? I didn’t take me long to figure out why; my name contained the word boob. I even tried naming him Boo Bam with a space, but that didn’t work either.

Later, I caught a ghost Pokémon and wanted to name him after the To Kill a Mockingbird character, Boo Radley. I wanted a play on words and tried naming him Boo Bradley. But once again, I was denied. I rebelled and used the Leet character for “b”, the number “8”, and spelled the name Boo 8radley.

However, my theory about root banned words is not applied consistently. So while tit and titties are banned, titty in the singular is not. The root butt is banned when used in isolation, but buttocks and butthole are acceptable names. The root balls is banned, along with ballsack, so I initially assumed the root sack was banned as well, but no. Sack is just fine.

Interestingly, not all slang words for body parts are banned. Breast has numerous acceptable synonyms: bosom, bust, gazongas, jugs, melons, nipple, teat, and udder. You can even name your Pokémon Busty Chick if you really wanted. Other sexual organ synonyms that are acceptable include hymen, phallus, pudenda, and surprisingly, testicle or testicles!

Bodily Fluids

Words indicating bodily fluids are generally banned: crap, feces, piss, poop, semen, shit, and urine. But some words get through, such as dung, the root pee (which will allow you to name your Pokémon Peeping Tom if you want) and poo.

Sexuality

Related to banned anatomy words are banned sexual words. Words related to sex acts, not surprisingly, are banned: fuck, rape and sex. Words related to sexual predators, understandably, are banned: molest, molester, the root pedo (as in pedophile), and rapist. Interestingly, masturbate is banned, yet fornicate is acceptable. Shag is banned, which I thought was a stretch (I tried naming a very furry Pokémon Shag Carpet to no avail).

Words related to sex for money are banned: pimp, prostitute, and whore. The word ho, sometimes used as slang for whore, is acceptable, although I’m guessing because this root is common in so many words that it would be irresponsible to ban all instances of H-O. Milf is also banned.

While the word doesn’t necessarily have sexual connotations, panties is banned. What’s most confusing is not that panties is banned, but that all other words for undergarments are acceptable: boxers, bra, briefs, g-string, panty in the singular, thong, and underwear.

Violence

Some words related to violence are banned, like kill, killer, and murder. Considering Pokémon is a violent game, they can’t reasonably ban all violent words. Choke and hit are acceptable (you could even name your Pokémon I’ll Choke U). Death and hate are acceptable, as is the name I Hate You.

Mafia is acceptable.

A few select war-related words are banned, notably Hitler, holocaust, jihad, nazi, and terrorist. But banning these words sends such a mixed message. Holocaust is banned, yet genocide is not. I found out jihad was banned when I tried to name my Rhyhorn Jihadi. I chose that name just as a joke: the Pokédex description for Rhyhorn says that his stomps are so powerful they can destroy buildings. So jihad is banned, yet not blitzkreig. Terrorist is banned, but not September 11. A murderer like Hitler is banned, yet Osama, bin Laden (the name is too long to fit all together), Adolf, Stalin, and Joseph Stalin are not. Likely the names of other dictators and terrorists are acceptable.

Thinking about the banning of jihad and not Osama, I wondered if maybe the word was banned for its religious connotations, not violent connotations. But I tried all of the following religious words and they all worked: atheist, Christian, God, Islamist, Jesus Christ, Muslim, Satan, and sin. The root damn is banned (and likewise damnation, the only other religious word I could find), yet hell is acceptable (I even named by Talonflame Hell Hawk just because I could).

I didn’t expect these names to be banned, but Barack Obama and George Bush are both acceptable. Dick Cheney, however, is banned, though that’s probably because of the word dick, not any hatred the developers have toward Cheney. 🙂

Substances

Given Nintendo’s hard stance on so many content areas, I was confident words related to substances would be banned. To my great surprise, all of the following substances are acceptable names: alcohol, cigar, cigarette, cocaine, drugs, heroin, marijuana, and meth. There are dozens more words that I could’ve tested, but so far I have no indication that substance words are banned. If anybody finds a substance, though, that is banned, comment below.

Name Calling

There are a number of words related to insults and name calling that are banned, and yet again, inconsistencies abound. Words like bastard and bitch are banned. An alternate spelling of bitch is banned: b!tch. However, an alternate spelling of bastard, basterd (as Quentin Tarantino spelled it in Inglourious Basterds) is acceptable.

Many racial slurs are banned: chink, nig, nigga, nigger, spic, and wetback. The American localization team, though, forgot to ban redskin. KKK is also acceptable, so you could name your Pokémon KKK for Life if you wanted.

Finally, words related to homosexuality are banned: fag, faggot and queer. I can understand this to a point, as these words are often used as disparaging terms against the LGBT community. Homo is also banned, though hetero is acceptable (heterosexual, though, is not because of the root sex). What’s most shocking to me in this category of words, though, is gay. Gay is acceptable, yet lesbian (and the more disparaging dyke and lesbo) are not. Lesbian really confused me, as women who are attracted to women often self-identify as lesbian. At first I thought gay was acceptable because maybe it was a root word of a certain Pokémon (the Pokémon Nosepass contains the word ass, yet is thankfully not banned). But as far as I can tell, no Pokémon (at least in the English version of the names) contains the root gay. So I’m really not sure why gay wasn’t banned, given that all other LGBT words were banned.

So why are these words banned?

Nintendo has always been a family-friendly company, so presumably these words are banned because kids might see them. This is especially a danger in modern games like Pokémon X and Y, which allow you to battle or trade with trainers all over the world through the internet. It’s a somewhat reasonable policy, though as I’ve shown, there are so many inconsistencies that it is unclear why certain words are banned and yet not others.

What really bothers me, though, is that so often legitimate names I choose for my Pokémon are not allowed. Recently I caught a Chingling, a psychic Pokémon that looks like a jingle bell. It has an attack called Uproar where it shouts really loud at you, hurting your Pokémon. I caught it, but it almost killed me. So I wanted to name it, appropriately enough I thought, Psycho Mouth. It’s a psychic Pokémon with a loud mouth: Psycho Mouth. Yet I couldn’t! I tried Psycho by itself and that worked. Only later did I figure it out: the H-O at the end of Psycho plus the M-O at the beginning of Mouth spells homo. Good grief.

Nintendo cannot be expected to find every possible offensive word, especially considering gamers often invent their own slang without the influence of the developers. As I have shown, there are ways around some of these banned words if you get creative phonetically.

I personally believe games should allow players to enter whatever name they want: that’s how they always used to be in the 1990s. If Nintendo is worried about children being exposed to bad words, then why not try this as a solution: any time you battle somebody online or trade Pokémon with them, all names revert back to the Pokémon’s original name. That would address the concern of kids being exposed to these words while still giving people the freedom to name their Pokémon whatever they wanted on their own private game.

Yet, Nintendo’s censorship policies really seem like a solution in search of a problem. Are gamers really using these words to name their Pokémon or characters? Maybe sometimes. In X and Y, not only can you name your character, your friends give you a nickname, which you also choose. My friend, who is black, tried to make his nickname Big Nigga and similar variations, to no success. But he’s 22 and should be able to do that if he wants.

However, most people that I have interacted with through Pokémon X and Y’s online services don’t give their Pokémon offensive names, nor do they attempt to get around these censorship policies. I have traded quite a few Pokémon with other trainers around the world, at least 50-60, and yet almost every single time, can you guess what people name their Pokémon? Nothing! They use the Pokémon’s given name, like Eevee or Charmander or Squirtle. I’m actually kind of disappointed people don’t name their Pokémon something funny, but that’s a separate issue. In my experience, nobody is naming their Pokémon offensive names or even attempting to get around the censorship with alternative spellings.

So what’s the problem Nintendo is really addressing? I have yet to figure it out.

Game on,
~Dennis

Note

I did not attempt to exhaustively discover every banned word in Pokémon X and Y. There are probably a hundred more words I could’ve attempted. If you know of any other banned words, please comment below. What’s more interesting to me, though, is not the words that are banned, but similar words that are not. If you find banned words, try to find related words that are acceptable.

Update: 4/1/2014

  • I caught a Horsea today and wanted to name him Hoarsea (not the best pun, I know). I was denied. Hoarsea contains the root arse.
  • I did a Wonder Trade with a person in Virginia named ComeDumpster. Apparently that is an acceptable name. I realize that banning the root come would be unfair, especially because it appears in other, non-offensive words, like Comet. But it’s just interesting to see what words get past the censors.
  • I had read that Pokémon banned words that were offensive in other languages, like French, German, Spanish, Japanese, etc. This seems a bit too far, as certain combinations of letters in English might not be offensive, except to foreign players. Again, is the fear that foreign players will trade Pokémon with an English-speaking person and be corrupted? I haven’t tested the extent of banned foreign words (I don’t really know any), but I knew that the word Viola was banned (apparently it means rape in French). I even tested it. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I fought the first Gym Leader, Viola. Pokémon X and Y is entirely based around French culture, so certainly if Game Freak had the foresight to recognize that “viola” meant something bad in French, then why give that name to the first Gym Leader? And why ban players from using it? The word isn’t remotely offensive in English.

Update: 12/10/2014

Wow, this post is by far my most popular and commented post! Thanks to everybody for adding your insight. It’s still very strange which words get banned and which do not.

I went through the comments section and have found that the following words are also banned. Those with asterisks have no clear reason to me.

Beaver, Burner*, Connor*, Coon, Cum, Dago (slang for Italians), Fanny (but Fannypuss works), Fuk, Georgie (contains orgie), Gordon*, Hatching*, Hard, Hektor (but Hector is fine), Hooker, Horny, Jizz, Kakashi (perhaps “kaka” or “caca”), Kukka (French for “flower”), Kyke, Laputa*, Mudso Budso* (someone suggested “bud” is banned, not sure why), Muff, Ostin*, Passerby (contains ass), Penelope (because “pene” is a word some people use for penis?), Pickles*, Pig*, Pik (apparently “pik” is Dutch for penis, though Pikachu?), Pussy, Ritsuka*, Rock* (so many problems with this banned word), Screw (though Scréw does work), Shazam (“shaz” is pervert or deviant in Arabic), Shooter (but shootér works), Slave (but S.L.A.V.E. is okay), Snatch (but this is a Pokemon move, so…), Sobek*, Sober*, Spicy*, Tart*, Thumper (because of hump, though you can get a Steelix from a Hiker called Thumper…), Torpedo (because of pedo), Tucker*, Turd, Weed (but Cannabis is legal), Violet (contains “Viol”, French for “rape”), and XXX.

Some other interesting tidbits. In Pokémon Black 2, ass and fag are both banned, but apparently Assfag is not. Blueballs is not banned, though I found that sometimes the root balls is banned, so not sure why there’s a discrepancy. Mussolini and 9/11 are fine. Somebody got from the Wonder Trade a Pokémon named TittySkitty though from my research, tit and titties are banned, so somehow there’s an exception.

Somebody got a Dugtrio named ThreeD!cks over Wonder Trade. One person was able to get around the censorship with some clever misspellings: Fa-Gi-Oh, Fu-K Yo Mama, Kum Bubble, Alasha-zam, and Twa-T Taco.

Other acceptable names: 3===D, BadAssCHU (really?!), BladeRuner, BIoodyMary (capital “i” instead of an “l”), Butshole, Cassidy (though usually words with the root ass are banned), Dead Soul, Drunkard, FatSackOCrap, G-Spot, GayThoughts, HitchC0ck (use zero or circle shape instead of “o”), Idiot, Knives, Marijuanamon (this one is funny to me), Mourningwood, MYdingaling, OilLeakSUX (suck and sucks don’t work), PelvicDive, P.M.S., and T-Bone.

One player in Germany said that most of these banned words are banned there as well, but some get through. He fought a Rapeface and P!mpMcBunny from another German trainer.

When trading with somebody, the person was shown a F you D-bag. Wow!

So I’m not going to go out of my way to play the new Alpha and Omega remakes, mostly because I still have plenty of post-game content in X and Y to get through, should I get back into the game (after investing 100+ hours, I sort of lost interest. But I got my money’s worth, especially considering it was “free” as part of a deal Nintendo had). And let’s be honest, do I really want to play Alpha and Omega for the amazing story? All the Pokémon are the same as what I have now.

But anyway, if somebody has Alpha or Omega, I’d be curious if you could test some of these words, not just the obvious ones, but the ones that make no sense, like Rock and Pik. Did Game Freak get their act together?

~Dennis

Update: 11/25/2015

Check out my new post, Censored Course Names in Super Mario Maker! I conducted a similar investigation about that game, trying to identify which words players can use and which ones they cannot. While Pokémon and Super Mario Maker are both published by Nintendo, they actually have very different stances when it comes to censorship!

The Minecraft Travelogue: Enchantia: Days 52-53

Seven witches are destroying this world by raising an army of undead warriors. My job is to hunt and kill them. Perhaps killing these witches will restore balance to the world.

Three witches have been slayed: four more remain.

This is my journey. My only goal is to tell a good story.

Day 52

After constructing a land bridge across the Orange Ocean, I finally reached land, a place I named Enchantia. I constructed the bridge with thousands of blocks of wood. My body, encumbered with so much timber, was unable to carry my vital and important supplies. All my weapons and treasures were left at the Eastern Continent, along with my horse Lightning. My first order of business was the cross the land bridge a second time, to go back to retrieve my effects.

Minecraft Travelogue

It took me all night. I was exhausted, and my feet were cracked and blistering. I foolishly left my sword and bow at home, so I had only my axe to protect me. Fortunately, I made landfall around noon without incident.

I raided my chest, grabbed all my valuables, and set Lightning free. This land bridge was for her. If I didn’t have Lightning in my care, I could’ve swam across the ocean. I’m not saying that would’ve been easy, but it would’ve been quicker.

Lightning timidly stepped onto the bridge, careful not to fall in the water. After she tested it, making sure it would hold our weight, we set off.

Minecraft Travelogue

I crossed the land bridge a third and final time, this time on the back of Lightning. We rode hard, and I arrived at Enchantia in half the time. Night was falling, but that’s okay. Before we continued our quest to hunt witches, we would rest for a few days and recover our strength.

Minecraft Travelogue

Day 53

Before I could sleep, I needed a bed. And before I could make a bed, I needed wool. I tied Lightning to my triumph gate and began to explore the dark continent, hoping to find sheep.

My relief at finally making landfall was short-lived. I was attacked by hordes of mobs. I slayed spiders and skeletons and zombies. I killed everything that got in my way, and before long, my cold skin was warmed with the splattered blood of my foes.

I could not rest yet. Before I knew it, I stumbled upon a witch!

Minecraft Travelogue

I wasn’t prepared for this! How foolish of me to think that my witch-hunting quest could be suspended while I rested and regained my strength! Evil never sleeps, so why should I expect it to play by my terms?

I pressed on. I slayed the witch from a distance, firing arrow after arrow into her. I didn’t even let her speak. I never got her name.

Minecraft Travelogue

I went to inspect the body, but as usual, the body dissolved in acid within seconds. I never got a moment to process this victory–soon a second witch appeared in my sights!

Minecraft Travelogue

I guess I should be grateful that I was having so much success. But my brain too foggy to understand, or care. I slayed that witch with tempered precision.

Five witches dead. Two more remained. My quest to rid this world of the cause of evil was nearing completion.

Before I could continue, I really needed sleep. I ventured into the forest, away from the mobs, and finally found a herd of sheep.

Minecraft Travelogue

Dawn was rising by the time I gathered materials for a bed. Before building a shelter, I wanted to explore this land a little further. I needed to make sure it was safe to bed down. Two witches in close proximity did not bode well. What were they doing here? Were they trying to reestablish a coven? This place did not look like a desert, yet they clearly had undead with them. Did they bring them from elsewhere to resume their dark arts?

Perhaps they’d heard of my reign of anti-terror and fled Eastern Continent like I did, bringing their undead source material with them. If that was the case, there might be a second land bridge close by. I must keep my eyes peeled.

My progress through the forest was slowed, though, by Lightning. The foliage was too thick to ride through, so she walked beside me. Somehow she found a way to climb trees, something I did not appreciate. This wasn’t the time to be screwing around.

Minecraft Travelogue

Minecraft Travelogue

I left the forest and headed west. Within a minute, I reached water. I went south, then east, then north, each time finding more water. By late afternoon the fog of my brain was wiped and I realized my problem.

I was on an island!

Minecraft Travelogue

This was an island of the dead, not a new continent. As I circled back to my arch of triumph, I felt weak and defeated. I found a pumpkin patch, once again carved by a witch with the mocking faces of jacks.

Minecraft Travelogue

By nightfall I found my land bridge. My hopes of finding a new land died. I had come all this way, was immediately attacked by undead, and almost killed. I did fell two witches, but that victory was of little solace at the moment. I renamed this land Disenchantia.

Minecraft Travelogue

I couldn’t sleep yet. Before I could continue my quest, I needed to head farther west.

I needed to build a second land bridge.

The Minecraft Travelogue: The Land Bridge: Days 45-51

Seven witches are destroying this world by raising an army of undead warriors. My job is to hunt and kill the seven witches, though I take on this task reluctantly. Perhaps killing these witches will restore balance to the world.

Three witches have been slayed: four more remain.

This is my journey. My only goal is to tell a good story.

Day 45

The wolves I had planned on training were gone. I had bones, but nobody to feed them to. When I was underground hunting skeletons, though, I found two name tags in a chest. I gave one to Lightning with her name on it: now everybody would know who she was.

Minecraft Travelogue

The western shore of the continent abutted the Orange Ocean. My plans to travel west were temporarily halted. Instead I traveled north, hoping that the continent would eventually extend west again.

I traveled all night, but saw only shores of sand.

Minecraft Travelogue

I was running low on food. I slaughtered some cattle for their meat, but I left the leather hides behind. I know it was wasteful, but I had no room in my inventory for extra weight right now.

Minecraft Travelogue

After traveling north the entire day, I concluded that this continent did not extend any farther west. If I wanted to continue west, I needed a way to cross the ocean.

Days 46-51

If I was traveling solo, I could just jump in the water and start swimming. But Lightning was with me, and I couldn’t ride her across the waters. As the sun rose on a new day, I made a decision: I would build a land bridge across the Orange Ocean and ride Lightning across. I made this decision without any knowledge about how big this ocean was. Maybe the land bridge would only be a couple hundred meters long.

Or maybe the ocean was tens of thousands of meters wide.

I had no way of knowing.

What I did know, though, was that I needed supplies. Fortunately a populated forest of birch trees grew next to the ocean shore.

Minecraft Travelogue

I built a shelter and put Lightning in a pen, then went to work.

Minecraft Travelogue

I took my shovel and excavated the hillside. This dirt would make the perfect material for my land bridge. I spent all day hollowing out the hill.

Minecraft Travelogue

Once I had several hundred blocks of dirt, I began construction on the bridge.

I stared out into that ocean, wondering if this was the right move. What if this ocean really was tens of thousands of meters wide? Was I embarking on a foolish journey that would consume months of my time? Would I break my back in the process? And all for what? Some arbitrary goal of traveling west at all costs?

Minecraft Travelogue

My mind was filled with doubt was I laid block after block, one after the other. My face was constantly turned to the ground, making sure each block was placed correctly. I also wanted to avoid falling into the water. Even though I could swim, this ocean was salty and cold.

Minecraft Travelogue

Soon I could no longer see my shelter. From horizon to horizon to horizon to horizon all I saw was water. I ran out of material at the end of the day. I lit torches along the bridge and deliberately trudged home.

Minecraft Travelogue

Once I got home, I realized that dirt was not a suitable material for the land bridge. While it was easy to excavate, it took up space in my inventory. Wood, on the other hand, took up less space. A stack of 64 blocks of birch wood could be crafted into 256 blocks of birch lumber: 1 block of raw wood to 4 blocks of lumber. I spent the next several days clearing the forest of birch trees. Once the trees were gone, I replanted them, keeping the environment sustainable. The work was long and tedious, but after  a couple days, my inventory was filled with birch wood.

Minecraft Travelogue

I carried over 3,000 blocks of material. Now I could construct a very long bridge until I needed to go home to resupply.

At the end of day 51, I reached land! I had crossed the Orange Ocean! The land bridge was almost exactly 2,000 meters long; I had plenty of material left over. I constructed a simple gate to mark my arrival. I dubbed the land Enchantia. Now all I needed to do was walk back, find my horse, gather my supplies, and then cross that land bridge one last time.

Minecraft Travelogue

The Minecraft Travelogue: Searching for a Companion: Days 42-44

Seven witches are destroying this world by raising an army of undead warriors. My job is to hunt and kill the seven witches, though I take on this task reluctantly. Perhaps killing these witches will restore balance to the world.

Three witches have been slayed: four more remain.

This is my journey. My only goal is to tell a good story.

Day 42

I left the swamp and found a forest filled with oak and birch trees. As I’ve experienced in the past, though, this forest was impassable. The trees were too dense, which made crossing with my horse Lightning nigh impossible.

I skirted the forest and eventually found mountains! A cascade of water fell from the highest peak, a waterfall greater than I’ve ever seen before!

Minecraft Travelogue

Night was approaching. I made shelter under the waterfall. Lightning reluctantly entered the cave with me. Once I sealed it up with a stone wall and door, she felt safer.

Minecraft Travelogue

Day 43

At daybreak I climbed the top of the mountain to get a better view of the waterfall and the surrounding area. The rush and bubble of the water calmed me. Why was I killing witches? To protect the beauty of this world. I didn’t want to think about witches coming into this land and reducing this lush stream into a screen of sand.

Lightning, though, had her own ideas. Once I demounted, she promptly jumped into the waterfall and rode it to the bottom. I followed after her. The waterfall looked a lot bigger than yesterday.

Minecraft Travelogue

Minecraft Travelogue

Minecraft Travelogue

Once I retrieved Lightning we climbed to the top of the mountain again. The mountains were beautiful to look at, but hard to cross with a horse. She was skittish on the high slopes and found it difficult to get a foothold.

Minecraft Travelogue

I did, though, find a small family of pigs playing on an icy pond. This is the first time in my life I’ve seen ice! I chipped some from a block and added it to my canteen. The cold water was refreshing to my throat, even though the breezy mountain air was chilly.

Minecraft Travelogue

Ever since I found Lightning I’ve been traveling west. I don’t know why, but it seemed right to constantly head in this direction. Eventually, though, I arrived at a vast, uncrossable ocean. Lightning wasn’t good at swimming while I rode her, so for now, we had to go a different direction. We headed north, and hopefully soon I’ll find more land so that we can continue west.

Minecraft Travelogue

This land, though, is breaking down. I found stone blocks floating in the air. I haven’t seen this in several weeks. Hopefully this isn’t a portent of travesty to come.

Minecraft Travelogue

By nightfall I found a pack of friendly wolves. They were curious and ran circles around me. If I could train these wolves, they could be a valuable asset on my journey. Not only would they provide protection from the undead, but they would keep me company.

Minecraft Travelogue

To train wolves, though, I needed bones. And to get bones, I needed to hunt skeletons.

Day 44

I erected a shelter and put Lightning in a pen. To find skeletons I searched for a cave. I went underground, the deepest I’ve gone yet in my life.

Minecraft Travelogue

The caves were filled with riches: coal, iron, and gold. But I couldn’t be sidetracked. If I started mining, I would be here all day. Who knew how long those wolves would be in the area before they moved on, continuing their hunt?Minecraft Travelogue

I found a dungeon, but unfortunately, it was filled only with spiders.

After slaying the spiders, I investigated their chests of treasures. I found something called a CD: what is this ancient technology? I did not have room in my inventory for such trivialities, so I left them behind.

Minecraft Travelogue

I made my way back to the surface. Night had fallen, and the undead hordes were more rampant than ever. I found skeletons, but slayed many zombies, creepers, and spiders in the process. By the end of the night I had six bones, enough to train a couple wolves.

Minecraft Travelogue

When I went back to my shelter, though, the wolves were gone. I searched the area far and wide but could find no trace of them, not even footprints. Did they move on while I was underground? Did the undead scare them off? Or were they eaten by the undead?

I’ll never know, but I’ll keep these bones in case I find a pack of wolves again.

The Minecraft Travelogue: The Swamp of Disenchantment: Days 39-41

Seven witches are destroying this world by raising an army of undead warriors. My job is to hunt and kill the seven witches, though I take on this task reluctantly. Perhaps killing these witches will restore balance to the world.

Three witches have been slayed: four more remain.

This is my journey. My only goal is to tell a good story.

Days 39-40

I rode all day and little of interest happened. I finally exited the desert, then found water. And then, by afternoon, a swamp came into view!

Minecraft Travelogue

I’ve been looking for a swamp for two reasons. One, to find more witches to kill. Second, and perhaps more importantly, I was looking for slimeballs. These will allow me to make leads, which will allow me to lead animals behind me. In the past month, I occasionally found forests, but the forests were thick with low-hanging branches. I could not ride my horse through; traversing them requires a lot of hacking and slashing just to make a path.

So far I’ve been able to avoid the forests, but if I have to cross one someday, I need a lead for Lightning.

I approached the swamp cautiously. Evil could be afoot: I’ve never been to a swamp, so I didn’t know what to expect. Water filled the area, making travel with my horse difficult. I should’ve anticipated this.

I found, though, blue flowers, which filled my heart with joy. I’ve never seen such flowers before: perhaps they only grow in swamps? Perhaps these places aren’t entirely evil after all. I gathered as many as I could. Someday they will be the cornerstone for a memorial, just as the sunflowers I gathered previously were a gift to the herd of horses from which I took Lightning.

Minecraft Travelogue

As night fell I built a shelter for protection. In the morning I constructed an anvil, sacrificing a lot of iron in the process. With the anvil I applied the enchantment spell, Feather Falling, to my boots. Now I was protected from falls of great height.

Minecraft Travelogue

Now it was time to explore this swamp. How big was it? Would I find witches and slimes? I started by climbing the mountains behind my shelter to get a lay of the land. These mountains were so high that snow covered the tops! I have never seen snow in my life; such beauty.

Minecraft Travelogue

As I climbed down the mountain I found water gushing from a rock. This was a sign that I would have success and that my mission was blessed! The day was growing thin, so I went to bed, prepared to thoroughly search the swamp in the morning.

Minecraft Travelogue

Day 41

I built a boat, my first ever, and set sail before dawn. I put Lightning in a pen; unfortunately, she was no use in this geography.

Minecraft Travelogue

I sailed most of the day but quickly got myself turned around. This swamp played tricks on my eyes. But to my disappointment, I soon found the edges of the swamp. Forests and plains bordered. There were no witches here. There was no slime.

By late afternoon I found lava gushing from a rock, a countersign to the water I witnessed yesterday. This swamp would not yield my journey any fruit.

Minecraft Travelogue

I’ve been longing for this swamp for weeks, but once I finally got here I found little to brighten my spirits.

I made my way back to my cabin and prepared to leave again in the morning.

Minecraft Travelogue

As the sun set and reflected across the waters, I wondered what lands lay ahead. Would I ever find these witches? And perhaps more importantly, for the first time I wondered, would I ever find satisfaction in my life?

Minecraft Travelogue